Thursday, 28 January 2010
There is this exercise I learned once in Italy that is used by actors in order to explore your subconscious insides. I sometimes remember it and wonder.. How many coincidences there are in your life and how many things you actually bring to yourself.
I do believe somehow that there are things that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction.
I can decide how to spend my time,
whom to interact with,
whom to share my body and life and money and energy with.
I can select what I can read and eat and study.
I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities.
I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others.
And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.
Tuesday, 26 January 2010
There are many things in life that you must learn over and over again. Like walking. And somehow in those moments you don't really care you've done it before, it comes to you again and it feels as exciting as it was before. Or even more!
Even Hemingway said, "All my life I've looked at words as though I were seeing them for the first time."
There is always more than meets the eye.
There is always more than we dare to admit.
And it's amazing. Amazing to challenge your own limitation and your own walls (either way if they are walls in or walls out).
Amazing things happen to you when you let them happen. When you walk right into the room full of unknown people and don't feel fear.
I am learning to accept chaos. (Although I am not entirely sure whether it accepts me.)
I have learned lately that any kind of fear might be just worthy to walk straight into. It's like playing a computer game only not being as reckless! Although I dont think that death is the biggest fear we have. The biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive -- the risk to be alive and express what we really are.
Tuesday, 12 January 2010
There was a time in my life where I learned a very important lesson.
There was a time I learned that by loosing everything I had so much more left. So much more to see, to treasure and to be.
I was remembering today those days when we were once kinds, when we used to build up some amazing things out of any simple daily objects and it would make us happiest people in the world. We would build castles, space ships, even countries and new galaxies and then once mother would call for dinner we would as easily dismount it all again to be ready for something else next time. I wonder, wasn't it much easier then to learn same lessons of letting go.
I don't remember much of my childhood. Probably since the time they cut my wings but I do remember that then it was so much easier to who you really are in that moment -- a performer, Cleopatra, a pilot of a space ship, a hunter, a doctor, a princess... even if until dinner time or for a moment.
And therefore I keep remembering that growing up is like growing bored and remaining in your own box because it's just safe there and because it's more easy this way. Rebuilding and redoing takes courage and power and a lot of sparkles!...
Yet still, change is the constant.
P.S. Listen to this....
P.P.S. Some amazing words from dreamer:
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, 'Yes.'
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
Friday, 8 January 2010
New year is said to be for new hopes, new mountains to climb, new ideas and all that. How do you know you are ready for it?!
How do you know new stuff isn't just refurnished old stuff?
And it makes me smile in the end because we are all suckers for big great new years resolutions, new years hopes and even if it doesnt work, we look forward to yet another new year to come. Don't we?!...
Saint Anthony said, in his solitude, he sometimes encountered devils who looked like angels, and other times he found angels who looked like devils. When asked how he could tell the difference, the saint said that you can only tell which is which by the way you feel after the creature has left your company.